SCP Foundation

Man, all of this seems really random.

The writing itself (spelling, punctuation, grammar) has a lot of issues, but I'll leave that for the last editor of the last draft to worry about. First of all, the containment procedures. You shouldn't include the non-metric conversion; people either know how thick 5cm is, or they'll be in the dark. Titanium doesn't work like that. If the casing around the eye is opaque and "facing" includes "seeing" it, then the titanium room around the casing isn't necessary. For realism's sake, imagine that at some point, someone's eventually got to think about the budget for containment of all these things. If money just grew on trees, we'd shoot everything into the sun.

Second of all, the description:

SCP-XXXX appears to be a black eye with a white ring circling the middle of the eye, the pupil is also white, the optic nerve of SCP-XXXX is also black.

I'm assuming you mean "eyeball", so I'm imagining a sphere. I don't know where the white ring is (spheres have "middles" everywhere), and the separation between the things that are white and things that are black seems strangely written; you go from a black thing to a white thing to a white thing to a black thing, and both of the last two things are "also" that color.

SCP-XXXX will move at 24 kph and fill the hole

There's the randomness. Why that speed? Who clocked it? Exactly that speed? Does it rotate to face outward at that speed?

What I'm saying is, you don't need to specify the speed. If you get too specific, it sounds silly. If you're too general, it sounds like useless information. We'll just assume the eyeball gets there when it gets there.

At this time subjects will experience a searing sensation of unknown origin in the eye socket SCP-XXXX is inhabiting.

This is a clinical-tone issue: it's a burning sensation. Searing is a super-specific thing that happens usually to meat on a grill. Burning is an actual diagnostic term. Also, not for nothing, but the origin is the eye socket. That's where it's originating from.

SCP-XXXX operates as a normal eye SCP-XXXX-1 it makes eye contact with any other organism at this time the organism that made eye contact with SCP-XXXX-1 will begin to experience severe burns all over their body, in all cases the burning does not subside until the organism is completely disintegrated.

This sentence is…something else. It feels like there are several words missing here. I'm not sure what exactly just happened. Who's burning? More importantly, why? This is what I mean about the randomness: people sometimes read SCPs with crazy effects and think that they're just weird, campfire-story spooky Things That Happen, but in good SCPs (as with all fiction), everything's happening for a reason, and the author knows what the reason is, and the author reveals to the reader exactly what they need to know at exactly the right time. This feels more like you just took a spooky eye and made it burn people.

I would suggest that, either for a rewrite of this or for your next SCP, you think of the whole backstory of the item and how it got to where it was when the Foundation found it, along with what it does when the Foundation tries to test it, always keeping an eye on why it does those things. You don't have to tell the reader why exactly; as a general writing tip, showing is better than telling. That's the beauty of the gradual reveal.

The rest of the article feels a lot like just gore, honestly. Gore is doable; it just has to be included in an article that's already well-structured. The burning of people and ripping out of eyeballs just doesn't do much after a whole article where that's already happening.

I don't want to be wholly negative, but there's not much about this that I think is terribly salvageable. The idea of an eyeball that wants to feed by getting into human beings could be interesting if the eyeball were an actual character somehow, I think? Like, as it is, it just sounds too much like nightmare fuel, which is a problem, because nightmare fuel only works if you don't know that someone's trying to douse you in it. But if the eyeball somehow were to communicate with people and make it clear that it doesn't want to hurt people, that it's literally just trying to get some damn fluids to survive, then maybe you could have a base that could be built from.

Or you can start over with a different idea entirely. It's up to you. Regardless, good luck on future endeavors.