Okay, here we go. This fell to page 4 without any replies, so I’m giving it a quick read. I’ll comment on specifics for the first 10 errors I notice, then move on to a skim-read until I hit the end or I lose interest in continuing. Please note that I do not comment on every single thing that I think needs fixing, unless the piece is exceptionally good. Here are my thoughts:
- Formatting's off. Remember to space out your bolded sections, and capitalize all words in the bolded headings (Object Class, Special Containment Procedures)
- SCP-#### is to be kept in a standard humanoid containment cell. > Euclid. Safe class is stuff you can toss in a locker without needing to feed it or provide special accommodations. Your current containment is too complicated to merit a Safe class designation.
- Cell floor should be lined with a minimum of one inch of desert sand > Missing a "The". Also, inches are not metric. The Foundation, as a scientific organization, uses metric. Furthermore, why is "desert sand" specified? Why not just any kind of sand? Does the graininess matter or something? Why not just state "coarse-grained sand" or the like?
- No sharp objects are to be brought into SCP-####'s containment cell and all provided items are to be sanded down > Just note "all items introduced to SCP-XXXX's containment must pass an inspection" or something.
- to reduce risk of activating anomalous effects outside of testing. > no need to explain why containment's in place. It bogs down the section and is a distraction from the actual instructions.
- A cactus can however be provided pending approval of any on-site administration. > Site administration probably has more important things to deal with. Why not just state that spineless succulents may be provided for good behavior?
- At least one caretaker able to speak Mandarin-Chinese is to remain nearby SCP-#### at all times. > note a staff team assigned to SCP-XXXX that is to rotate shifts to provide care.
- and weighing only 80 kilos. > the "only" is not necessary.
- Subject’s main body is > Don't refer to an individual as a "subject" unless you've established the experimental protocol they're being subjected to. If there's no research design or observation ongoing, they're not a subject of anything and shouldn't be called such.
- collect all" tattoo shows signs of wear consistent with age. > second part should be a new sentence; otherwise it reads like a run-on.
Overall, it's a cute idea. Reminds me a little of Cactusman though. The interview is great, I like the "they just do not want people to feel left out. If there was only one, it'd be too hard to find." explanation for why the dude is totally fine being a bootleg. Granted, I like these quirky SCP articles a lot, so you may find that other people aren't as interested in something lighthearted.
If you fixed up the wording and sentence structure, I think I'd upvote this. Since your article is relatively short, I suggest contacting one of our staff members who is excellent at close edits, maybe Wogglebug, and (politely!) asking for a grammar/mechanics-only readthrough of your work. Provide the wordcount for your draft and note that I've recommended them to you, and feel free to tell them that you're just looking for help with grammar and mechanics.